"It may be that decisions which seem to change the character of the work will now have to be made. But if the principles which have grounded us from the beginning are held fast there will be no real change. The river may flow in a new channel but it will be the same river." ~ Amy Carmichel
I desire God's will for my life, even if this means leaving all that I know, and yet, so often I feel like He couldn't have chosen a girl with more excitement about the future with almost as much dread of change to match!
In all honesty, I think God just loves it when I am desperate for Him. He will use the heart in my throat and the pounding of my chest to keep me seeking, surrendering, trusting and loving. And those are my closest moments with Him. I feel my heart stirring, but with no clue as to why or to what's ahead. All I know is that Christ is always faithful, always good, and always my strength. Perhaps there will be nothing significantly changing any time soon. I don't know. But for now, I am thankful for the reminder that, when it's from God ... Change really can be okay! :) Alright, done rambling now :)
Perhaps you've seen, but writing random facts about yourself appeared to be the "thing" on Facebook this past week. I usually ignore such goings on, but even I got caught up in it too. It was kind of fun and it was really interesting to read about some things that I didn't know about my friends. My FB friends have already seen my list, but I thought I would share it on here as well...purely for the sake of actually trying to post on my blog :P Here we go:
1. I want to go to Europe so bad. Mainly Italy. 2. I live in a subdivision, but I am a country girl. I like Dodge pickups, my camo gun, gardening and animals.
3. I have food allergies. I'm allergic to:
peanuts
dairy
pineapple (why???)
gluten
soy
almonds
any fruit with a pit
eggs
yeast
4. I have been to India, Thailand, and Malaysia (Holland and Japan too, if you count airports) 5. Baking is my hobby
6. Good photography makes me smile
7. If The Lord wills, I would like to be a wife and a mom someday. Given the opportunity, I would also like to adopt, which could include a child born with Down Syndrome.
8. If it's vintage, I'll probably like it
9. I already have a little Christmas tree up in my bedroom. Although that's more like a confession. Lol 10. I have a blog, but I don't keep up with it very well ;)
11. I can be shy, but learning to overcome. It's easy for me to come out of my shell if you're outgoing and make me laugh :)
12. I like airports
13. I used to figure skate (wish I still remembered how)
14. I'm a history buff. Historical places are some of my favorite spots to go to. 15. I get embarrassed and generally turn red when people compliment me, but secretly it encourages me.
16. I want to visit all the countries where my ancestors are from (Poland, Ukraine, Germany & Holland).
17. I like to shop, but given the choice between that, and a walk in the woods, I will more than likely choose the latter.
18. I miss my old horse and sometimes still have dreams about the farm we used to live on.
19. I pretty much only watch old movies or new movies set in historical times. No swear words please!
20. I'm saving my first kiss for my wedding day 21. Sometimes I can be prideful :( 22. I'm thankful that Christ completes what He starts
23. I find that writing random stuff is kind of fun, but what I really want people to know about me, is that Jesus has my heart and I really pray that it is He who you see in me. Happy Friday Everyone!
"To me, it has been a source of great comfort and strength in the day of battle, just to remember that the secret of steadfastness, and indeed, of victory, is the recognition that "the Lord is at hand." " - Duncan Campbell
I must admit, I don't always battle gracefully. Often times, I battle anxiously like everything depends on me, instead of resting and trusting in God. "Be Thou my Vision" is most often my prayer.
Why is it that I can feel so close to my Savior and yet so easily forget WHO He is? It pains me to admit this, but I realize that in my humanness, I sometimes find that, I, the created, bring the Creator down to my level of ability. Just writing those words makes my heart almost sick.
How is it that I can trust Him for money and yet, doubt if He hears my prayers for healing? Oh Lord Jesus, please forgive me. The older I get, the more I realize how much I need Him. Knowing a lot about Him is not enough. My spirit craves intimacy. But intimacy means relationship.
Please, don't misunderstand me. I DO believe that I have a beautiful relationship with Christ, but, I also think I'm just scratching the surface! Which excites me :)
Lately, I have found myself battling with small doses of worry, doubt, melancholiness and discontentment. None of which I can fully understand why, but they have been real all the same. I keep going back to John 15:5 in my head:
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.
I think I'm learning what it means to "abide" in Jesus. To dwell with Him and remain steady.... Even with questions. I am thankful that He is not surprised by my questions. If I cannot go to Him, who can I go to? However, I am finding more and more that I don't need answers to my questions... I need Him. He IS the answer. He is teaching me to be okay with all the mystery which surrounds who He is. It's in letting go of what I think I need and letting Him simply be God. Like He needs my permission *insert sarcasm here*.
Ah, only as a Christian can there be such fulfillment in my weaknesses being revealed. Truly He is strong when I am weak. And at the same time my weakness is revealed, I am lifted high on wings like eagles. Only such a God can perform such mystery and beauty. He loves me where I am, but oh praise Him, His love also isn't letting me stay there.
At the same time I can be battling, my Lord surrounds me like a shield. I am His and He is mine.
