Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Family Update Part 1

I realized this morning that it has been awhile since I've written about my favorite people in the whole wide world!  And, I'm actually surprised none of my extended family members have brought this to my attention before now :)

 We are doing wonderful. The Lord has been so faithful and good. I'm finding that it has become pretty rare that a day goes by without Him teaching us something.

   Krystal, Anthony, and the kids are doing well. Emma Rose, Erin, and Harrison started school back a little while ago ( I can't remember what day) and Anderson is starting preschool today. I can't believe he's big enough to be going to school! So, now it's just Krystal and Elli Karrington hanging out at the house together having mommy/daughter time.
Krystal is such a blessing and I am proud to call her my sister. The Lord knew what He was doing when He brought her into our lives so long ago.

   John just left on Monday to fly up to New York to be with his good friend, Andrew, for a week (we follow him up later).  He is growing so much in his walk with the Lord. He is a gentlemen, a hard worker, and very funny. I can honestly say that he is one of the best friends that I have ever had. So glad he's my brother. He is a blessing. In October he will be heading to Sudan to stay for a month by himself. When you think of him, please pray for his safety and that the trip will be used to draw him deeper in love with his Savior and give him compassion for others like he's never had before.

Jeremiah and Dad are at school this morning. This year Jeremiah has been enrolled into Kindergarten so he can continue speech therapy and further develop his motor and interaction skills. Ultimately, my mom wants to home educate him, but the Lord opened the doors for Jeremiah to go to school in town three days a week for two hours and one of us gets to stay with him the whole time. In some ways it's kind of like going to a home-school co-op three times a week. We are already noticing some good differences in him this year compared to last year. He's growing up so fast.

Well, that's all I have time to write about this morning, but more is to follow!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Daily Surrender

   Where do I begin?  The Lord has been doing so much in my life and I feel so humbled that I don't know what to say! Sometimes the works of God are so unexplainable.

I will try my best to share what He has been doing in my heart of late.
First off, I want to give Christ the glory, honor, and praise for anything I write below, because apart from Him, I can do NOTHING.

   I can't tell you when it started. These feelings of something not right in my heart. Mostly towards my brother, John. Not so much now, but throughout the years we have had it out so many times towards each other. Most of the reasons were so pathetic, I blush to admit them. And looking back, our petty arguments have been mainly started

Please don't misunderstand me. It's not like my brother and I yell at each other all the time or something. We both love the Lord and each other so much and would die for the other if necessary. No, I'm mainly talking about the stuff that would start the arguments. Like giving my "2 cents" when it wasn't asked for. Or when I've talked to him like his words had no weight. When I would treat him like my silly little brother instead of the young man that he is now and is becoming. Instead of pointing out all the good things he did on a project, it would be the silly little mistakes instead. Talking over him when he was trying to explain himself. Oh, here's the biggest one, getting upset with him because HE COULDN'T READ MY MIND.

Yes, this young woman who hates strife and contention to the point of tears and heartache, has had attitudes that should never be present in a woman who calls herself a daughter of the Most High God, and has used words like fiery darts towards her beloved brother.  Why? Just so I can be right. Or just so I don't have to carry the burden of being hurt again. In other words, using my backbiting words to try to stop anything that I thought would make me feel bad inside. I obviously was not realizing how much of a bigger burden I was packing up for myself and for my poor brother than the one I thought I was somehow preventing.

"Oh silly Megan. How could you be so blind and oblivious?" ...Well, I'll tell you. The hard part about deceit, is that it's so deceitful! And when you form a habit, it's hard to break.  Especially when it comes little by little by little.

That's his way you know. The devil, I mean. He's out to "steal, kill, and destroy" at all costs and with no exception of persons. Boy do I hate him. He makes me livid (as my mother likes to say).

   Do I take all the responsibility for every argument that John and I have gotten into? The answer is yes. "WHAT?! Is John perfect or something????" (sorry John! :P ).
Someday, I will give answer to God for my sin. And on that day I will have no choice but to only give account for my part. My 100%. So, my thought is, why not start now? Why not start taking 100% of my part of our relationship? I'm not responsible for John's reactions to things or how he chooses to treat me at times. That is between him and God. But I am responsible for my reactions and how I treat him.

   I am so thankful for the Lord's ever-present hand of guidance on my life. He isn't just opening my eyes to my sin. He is also giving me the grace to lay down my pride in order to change. He knows that I don't want other people to suffer from my faults. I specifically think of my future husband and children and I rejoice that through Christ, they won't have to deal with this in me like my family has over the years.  It hasn't been perfected yet and may never be, but at least John and those I will be in relationship with in the future, will hopefully never have to question if I am seeking God for help and fighting the enemy about it or not.

I am learning to surrender daily. It's not always easy, but I believe the less there is of me, and the more there is of Him, the better woman I will be for it. Holy Spirit, please, have Your way.

Monday, August 1, 2011

More of You...Less of me

I promise I have not fallen off the face of the earth :)  An actual post is in the making, but, for now here is an intro, if you will,  to what has been on my heart of late.