Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Oh how my soul is longing for the deeper things of God! I really cannot explain the change He has been doing in my heart in the last two weeks. It feels almost sacred. Just between Him and me. It's oh so beautiful and so stretching. Here I thought I had surrendered all of me, to only realize that I have not surrendered enough. There is still too much of me.

Oh God! Let there be more of You and less of me!

I find myself being drawn to Him more often during the day than I used to. Even the small, tedious chores seem more enjoyable as of late.  Knowing that He loves me....I am so undeserving of such love! Nothing can compare to it. I am constantly at the edge of tears. My family probably thinks I'm depressed! haha If they could just see the inside of me that is feeling overwhelmed beyond what facial expressions and emotions can express!  I don't quite know how to handle it.
There are times when I feel as though my heart will explode with joy and then there are others when I am so humbled that I feel like I can't get up. Does that sound depressing? I don't mean for it to be! It truly is not! Though sometimes being pruned can feel a bit painful, I believe it is only for a time. I think He just wants me to trust Him. I wonder if any of this change hurts because I am still trying to hold on to things too tightly. He shouldn't have to pry things out my life! He is worthy  to have it all without explanation, is He not? ....Oh more of You and less of me....

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas!

"And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” - Luke 2:12

May the Lord bless you this Christmas season. My prayer for you is that you will draw closer to Him this year than you ever have before!

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Mountain Top

Step...step...little step....step.... step....step...BIG step....Hang on!....step...step....don't look down, look up! ...step....deep breaths...step...step....step...stop. You made it. A cry of joy escapes your lips!
You're at the top of the mountain. You climbed this mountain for what seemed to be so long, but now you've made it and the view, oh wow the view... it is not disappointing. If fact, it's gorgeous and you don't ever want to leave this spot.  It's so peaceful up here. The journey was definitely worth it, even despite the unknown you experienced and all the undiscovered things you found. There were also things that you have seen before, but think differently of now. Some of which were good and some not so much. In fact, many of them made you feel squeamish. 

 Nothing stopped you though. It was like something was pulling you, drawing you to the top. What more could there be? Ahhhh yes, this is beauty at it's best. The view is perf- but, wait, what is that? Another mountain, even higher than this one?! And it's obstructing part of your view. How can this be? 
Suddenly there is a pulling at your heart again. It's drawing you to that next mountain top. Where you are right now is so wonderful; how could you leave? And the base of that next mountain looks even more undiscovered and unknown that the one you just left behind. Can you go through this again? Yes, not only can you, but you want to. Joy has suddenly filled your heart knowing there is more to be discovered. And so, you take your leave of this place. You will never forget it. It helped shape you into who you are today. But there's more......Deep breath.......you don't look back........step.........step.........step................

When I began to write this post, I didn't know where or how to start. The story written above, is more of a parable. It's my poor attempt at trying to explain the journey the Lord has me on right now. I feel so in love with Him, but I also feel like He is calling me to a higher place with Him. And I'm somewhat nervous about it...in a good way. So, I place my hand in His and allow Him to lead me. 

Lord, Thy will be done. 

Thursday, December 15, 2011

He is our Healer/ Malachi's 1st birthday

   I'm sorry for the lack of posts lately. We have had a lot going on since John came home from Sudan. The biggest event was John getting sick with malaria the week he returned. It was pretty scary, but, praise God, after being in the hospital for five days and 25 pounds less, he was able to come home and has been recovering very well ever since :) He's pretty much back to normal now and is steadily gaining weight back. Thanks to all who were praying for him and our family as a whole during that time!

A few days after John came home from the hospital, Papa and Amma came down from New York for Thanksgiving. As usual, we had a wonderful visit and I look forward to their next visit on New Year's.

From left to right: Papa, Matthew, Jeremiah, Me, John, Malachi and Amma

Krystal's family joined us for Thanksgiving dinner too! We had a full house and it was so much fun.

"Siblings", maybe not by blood, but, definitely in our hearts.

Now the big news! Little Malachi Mutiso turned one on December 3rd. We celebrated his birthday early on Thanksgiving day while everyone was here. He wasn't quite sure what to think about the cake :)

Thanksgiving party
Actual birthday
Malachi is so lovable, kissable, and such a huge blessing in this family. I know God must have big plans for his life! 

Okay, fast forward to today....There's only one week and three days 'til Christmas! Time flies by way too fast sometimes. I still haven't bought most of my gifts yet. Am I panicking? No, not really. Just feeling a bit rushed and I HATE anything about Christmas being rushed. So, that being said, I just may hit the internet to look for those last minute gifts!